Saturday, September 22, 2012


After years of depression, anxiety, bursitis, back pain, headaches, and digestive problems I have learned that the root cause of most of these issues is my spine. I was recently diagnosed with Phase II Scoliosis and Sciatica. Really? I can't tell you all how much I have gone through to try to find optimal health. I go to regular physicals and have visited my doctor with back issues more times than I can mention, and the end result was 4 years of muscle relaxants; which took I finally chose to stop taking, and it took me 8 weeks to detox the residual effect of them.
I know find that, in time, I will be able to enjoy a life without medication of any kind and have optimal health as a result of subluxation for my spine. The sad part is that it will take 1 1/2 - 2 1/2 years to complete re-aligning my spine and my  insurance will only cover 20 visits; and every time I stop for any period of time I will have to begin over. My insurance pays to correct it but not to maintain it. I would think that it would be of huge benefit to insurance companies to allow patients to receive maintenance to keep correct spine conditions in the long run, rather than making patients that can't afford to continue, to pay for regular visits and not have to begin over each year.
Despite still having pain while I am having these treatments, my mood, memory and digestive system have improved dramatically.
It's worth checking into if you experience depression, anxiety, and body pain rather than curing it all with medication. I hope this information helps another., if it does; let me know by commenting.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Oh No, she's up!

On Sunday my pastor, after returning from a conference, shared a story one of the author s shared with him. The story was about a mother that was concerned about her non-believing children. I was totally inspired by her response to what to do for our children when they can't find their way. She said, "If the devil wants my children he will have to cross over thousands of prayers." I was instantly gratified by the calming that took place in me after hearing this. After the service I went to thank him for the sermon and he said, he was thinking about me when he heard it, because he knows my greatest struggle is for my children to become believers. We never know what to do if we are called home and our children are not saved, it is a Christian Mother's greatest concern, but try to remember this story if you are the mother of non-believers and accept the comfort it gave me.
I just got off the phone with my youngest who is back in recovery and he informed me that he is considering joining the military, another great concern for mothers. I told him I would support what ever he decides because I know that God is with him, even if he doesn't always know; and I know that the devil will have to climb over thousands of my prayers also to get to him. So look out for me Devil!
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Sunday, April 22, 2012

A Mother's Prayer

prayer.. (Photo credit: aronki)
Even Christians at some time in our day or sometimes in everyday, we sin by mouth , eyes, or even ears; but by asking God to forgive us, he does. That doesn't mean we get to go out everyday and sin, it means we recognize our sins and pray for the fortitude not to sin those sins again. Some find new ones and think that is okay, but we know it is not. Our commitment is to not sin,and to be praying a consistent prayer with God all day asking him to guide us away from sin. But Satan is a strong enemy and we must be aware of the worldly things around us, (which is pretty much everything) and find our own way in the world not giving into to worldly ways.
We lose friends over this, we make enemies over this, we lose family; but our promise is that at the end of time we will be re-united with those we love at God's right hand and if we want that to be our children, then we must take the time NOW to discipline them along those lines.

I spent some time last night reading through a notebook my son had written in during his stay at the last rehab facility he was in. My heart was lifted when he spoke about falling on his knees in gratitude asking for forgiveness. It is every Christian mother's dream to have one or all of her children find their way through the Holy Spirit. It would be nice if they could find their way without having to reach the bottom, but as a mother, I will take it any way it comes to them.
Many spend their days focused on the lack of everything we do not have, when in reality, it is what keeps us from attaining those things. Focus on what we have and thank God for it everyday with the idea that God already knows what you want and it is coming to you; but it is in his time. Do not be discouraged, God is bringing you what you want so express gratitude for it, as if you have already received it and you will begin to see it surfacing in your life.

My prayer to God today is recovery for my youngest and the removal of the blinders on his eyes, and the plugs in his ears so he may see and hear what is coming his way. Thank you, Lord for caring for him and being by his side through all that he has allowed himself to go through. Give him patience and fortitude until it appears.

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Saturday, April 21, 2012

Ingrained Motherhood

I have just spent 4 days with no knowledge as to where my youngest son (26) was and if he was safe for the second time in 1 month. What are we to do as mothers when mothering is so ingrained in us? This month I have heard phrases like " its all in God's hands," Don't worry, he'll be fine," "What are you doing to keep your mind off him,"It's already up to God, so there is nothing you can do about it, just move on." None of which has given me an ounce of peace. I even spent a day at a Pastoral Conference where they were focused on the assurance that God exists. Well, I know God exists, and I know he was with me and my son, but I have never been able to draw enough comfort from that to let things go. Does that make me less Christian, less of a believer? I don't even know. The only thing I know today is that no matter how good a parent you are, you can never know where Satan will surface in the life of one of your children. The one saving grace in all of this last experience is that he is my one child that not only does believes God exists and that Jesus came to save us from our sins no matter how bad you have been, or how much of Satan you have acknowledged, you need only to ask God for forgiveness and thank him for what he has provided you with and ask him to open the Holy Spirit within you. I don't mean running with Satan forever, I mean for that moment in time.

My son has lived his adolescent, teen, and now adult life using some form of substance to stuff down inside of himself, something so unbearable that he is afraid to actually let it run through his mind. Millions of people live this way, but the true thing about life is that there is nothing so unbearable  locked in one's mind that will make you burn in Hell at that moment or any other moment.

Our God is a gracious God, he readily forgives, protects, and saves you when asked. That doesn't mean you can continue down the path you are on and just choose your own time to ask for forgiveness. It means when you ask for forgiveness, repent, and follow the word he has sent to us; you can depend on him to respond. With eyes wide open we may actually see the signs he has sent us to change our lives. I am no saint, but every day I try to do something for another with no expectation of return and pray that I am pleasing to God.
I know l lot of people are thinking (as if a lot of people are reading this...lol) everyday, really? Well, yes everyday that you are able. One of the mornings I was waiting for word about my son I was awakened early, I don't know by what and I went outside and this is the gift that God gave to me:

I have a friend that on his 90th birthday slipped and fell in his driveway rendering him bedridden after surgery for many weeks, with a broken hip. He had just recovered from a fall that injured  his shoulder, but he soldiered on and the only thing I ever heard him say about that one was "Thank God my daughter was there when I fell." After the second accident the family thought he was facing his last days, but it turned out that he had an intestinal problem that made it impossible for him to get to the bathroom on time and he was reluctant to get out of bed. Once it passed though, he was like an Olympian training for a race. Each time I saw him he would show me how he could get himself out of bed and scurry down the corridor with the use of his walker. The only thing he ever said about that incident was "Thank God the Verizon men working across the street saw me fall and were able to call 911." To me that proves that God exists and that our faithful devotion to him will see us through everything we encounter. However, when it comes to motherhood  my senses go numb. My friend is a God loving, Christian man and nothing seems too difficult for him to choose not to move forward. I hope that is something my youngest son can find and learn to live with, because then he can teach me.

A week before this last incident with my son, I was in his hospital room while he went to take a shower. As I looked into the corridor, I saw, on an open door across from me, what looked like a row of paper dolls were ingrained in the door. As I looked further I realized they looked more like a row of paper doll angels because wings were visible in between each one. I know that many do not believe that God sends us signs, but this to me was a sign that God would guide my son through this. However, there was some point where my son changed his mind about recovery and went on a rampage of destruction and deceit which was totally out of character for him. I shiver at the idea of how he will feel when he realizes that this wide eyed blackout he has been in these last two weeks, has made him do things he would never have done in a sober and Godly mind.
He has a long road ahead of him and I will pray daily that God will guide him in this journey and make it difficult enough for him that he never wants to start over like this again.

Thank you God for keeping him safe.
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Friday, March 9, 2012

My Review of Lounger pantset by Dream and Co®

Originally submitted at WomanWithin

Lounger pantset. V-neck top with raglan sleeves and kangaroo pockets;

  •  Top length about 30".

Love the pockets

By pogo2go from Norton, MA 02766 on 3/9/2012


5out of 5

Waist: Feels true to size

Length: Feels true to length

Pros: Soft, Warm, Comfortable, Nice Design, Washes Well

Best Uses: Lounging, After Shower, Pockets, Cool Nights, Sleeping

Describe Yourself: Casual Dresser

Was this a gift?: No

I love these. I put them on and feel so cozy but best of all they have pcokets. Pajamas with pockets are awesome. How many times do you have to carry a kleenex with you when in your pj's? Well with these you have a pockets to carry them in. I love pcokets in pajamas, and I love thse pj's.


My Review of Cotton knit pajamas by Dreams & Co.®

Originally submitted at WomanWithin

Cotton knit pajamas pair a solid top with screenprint patch, and print pants. We offer the best price and fit in plus size pajamas.

  • top has side slits; 28" long
  • elastic-waist pants with side slits; 28" inseam
  • washable cotton knit; importe...

Comfy Cozy

By Pogo2go from Norton, MA 02766 on 3/9/2012


5out of 5

Waist: Feels true to size

Length: Feels true to length

Pros: Soft, Comfortable, Well Made, Nice Design

Best Uses: Lounging, Sleeping, After Shower

Describe Yourself: Casual Dresser

Was this a gift?: No

I love this set for sleeping and wearing aqround the house before bedtime. When I'm home for the day I slip them on and feel comfortable and cozy even when someone drops in. They are a good fit and I have received many compliments on them.