Tuesday, December 1, 2009


DAY 3 (Cont'd)
I let the fear of the phone calls take over for awhile until I realized that I had to begin believing the danger was gone; the least I had to do, was to develop a “fake it to til I make it,” mind-set to keep going and put the fear away as long as I could. It worked for a while but eventually it flooded back in different ways; this time it came as Agoraphobia, (fear of open spaces, or the outside) and it hit me after my sister died suddenly from Heart disease.
My sister led a simple but sad life. She believed all she had to live for was spending time with my children, and her job, which suited her and she was very good at it. My sister struggled with her identity daily. Her job as a security guard lent her to the power that was missing in the other aspects of her life. I could not even say she was content, but she did the best she could with what she was able to face about herself. Unknowing to her, she was loved and respected by so many people, that there was an outpouring of people at her wake, and the many so called, coincidences in her life emerged in ways she never would have expected. The numbers of people from different parts of her life connected outside of her, so much so, that it would have blown her away. My sister-in-law from my first marriage came and reminded me that my sister was the one that helped her get the job at the hospital she still works in. In the next instance, my sister-in-law was speaking to the wife of the property owner of the apartment my sister lived in. These two women had worked together in the past, and were chatting about it, when the aunt, who was the closest to my sister, joined the conversation. My aunt recognized one of the women and discovered that the woman was married to her late husband’s nephew. Strange, considering my sister was having such a difficult time finding a place to live just a few years earlier, and to have landed in this apartment was remarkable. These things to me appear as coincidences; but I know they are the working of the Universe to bring all these people together, and I also believe that my sister knows now that these things took place.  Since my introduction to the movie "The Secret," so many things become clear to me when I begin to realize that we are responsible for our own reality, I just wish my sister had been able to see her reality through my eyes.

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Saturday, November 28, 2009


From left to right, the bats used to hit Babe ...Image via Wikipedia

I took a second job, as a special needs bus driver so I would have a vehicle without expenses and became a home demonstrator for a direct sales company. My youngest son was at an age where he was old enough to care for the children and although it was a heavy burden for a young boy that had only a few years before lost his sister and both grandparents, he helped to hold us all together. He was my Godsend, and in time, our lives settled into peaceful ones, at least for a while. We had a few vandalizing events around Christmas the first year. Someone took a baseball bat to the windows of my school vehicle and through a larger boulder through the picture window where the Christmas tree stood. I never tried to prove these things were his doing, but I had a sense about them. I tried so hard to stay in a positive state of mind amidst the turmoil. It was hard and I began treatment for depression, despite being able to carry out all the necessary things in my life, it triggered an old disability of clinical depression. There was great fear lingering in me all the time but I had to keep going for the children. I never spoke a bad word about their father or made them privy to the fear I had about the vandalism, but in time, they formed their own opinion about how they felt about him. If one always does what is right, the truth will always come out. The truth was not mine to tell, but my children found it anyway. When they did, I was there to talk them through it until my youngest son turned 13.
My ex-husband was also a narcissist; something we would discover later on, but if my children did not call him every day and tell him how grateful they were for everything that he gave them, he would spin into a tirade.(A God complex) Many phone conversations and lies later, he called and told my youngest son, the only one that still loved him, never to call him again. He broke my son that day, and although I have forgiven him, I have no use for the man in my life and neither do my children. What kind of parent says something like that to their child? He went on later to say to me that “my” children were “white trash, and had never been raised properly.” My children, really? I responded with, “Never call me again, you have no idea what it means to parent a child and the influence you “inflict” on my children is destroying them.” A few months later, I learned, not by him, but from the return address on the child support payment, he resented every month he made it, that he and his wife moved to Georgia. Well, I say good luck to Georgia. He had burned all his bridges in this area and needed to re-locate, re-invent, and run from all the mistakes he had made here. (cont’d)

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Wednesday, November 25, 2009


119.365 - ...Then comes marriage...Image by Jeff the Trojan via Flickr

The years that past after my mother died, were years I lived in numbness and platitudes, hanging on for dear life, with no idea what I was doing. Completely unaware that the man I loved had been having an affair with my so-called “best friend” for about two years. He issued me an ultimatum in regards to our relationship, marry him or he was leaving. Unable to think of losing another person in my life, I felt the only answer was yes. I half-heartedly prepared for a wedding I never should have had, and a life that I would regret for many years. The day of the wedding that same friend stood up for me as my matron-of-honor, (yes she was also married) and moments before the ceremony she asked me why I was marrying him, and I told her the reason I just mentioned. I was not ready to be alone again with my nine year old son (from my first marriage) still to mother. She told me she thought I was making a mistake an even tried to tell me about the two of them, but it cast upon deaf ears. Within the first year, I was pregnant again and had my daughter, and then 15 months later my son. The marriage was a horror show; he cheated with her and so many other women that I forced him in to counseling and a diagnosis as psychosis and sexual addiction. After many false promises, it continued and I knew I would have to leave him.
As soon as I was able, I got a job as a server, so I could work nights and he could stay with the children. What was I thinking? Within a few months of me working, he called me one night to tell me that he could not handle taking care of the children, so I needed to quit my job. I didn’t, and he continued to complain until one night after putting the children to bed with their day clothes on, my daughter woke up and needed to go to the bathroom. When he couldn’t open the shorts she was wearing, because the other hand was holding the telephone, he ripped the shorts off her in anger and sent her to the bathroom and to bed angrily. When I got home that evening, I found the clothes in the trash and hid them in the basement. Two days later, I went to the courthouse with the shorts and some pictures I found of him with my friend, and got a restraining order. That afternoon I watched as the police escorted him from the property. His anger came in so many ways, and when I became oblivious to one, he would move on to another. Life became even more dangerous when I didn’t know where he was or what he was doing.

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Tuesday, November 24, 2009


Everything is first a thought, so choose good ones. Know that "YOU" create your own reality, and watch "YOU" make your dreams come true.

"And out of nowhere and nothing"

Cover of "Braveheart (Special Collector's...Cover via Amazon

As a Braveheart Woman I would like to share my story by posting small parts each day. If one woman is helped by what I write about my life, then my purpose will be live.
At the age of 61, I feel my life is just beginning. After raising my three, now adult children, I am taking time to fulfill my purpose in the world. In hindsight, I have seen the results of the law of attraction. Twenty-six years ago, while I was pregnant with my second child, I was building a fitness center. I had no money, no good credit, to speak of, but a mind full of passion, knowledge, (having managed health clubs) and faith.
Well into my daughter’s first month of life, a diagnosis of heart failure was difficult news to accept. After her first surgery, she seemed to thrive, but she still had a long road to recovery. Her aorta was not opening and closing and she needed a new one to replace it. Technology for this disorder was minimal, at that time, and after 30 days in the hospital with her she was finally scheduled for surgery where the surgeon planned to open the valve and leave it open. At the time, I was grasping at straws and fighting with medical people so when the surgeon said she had a “40 percent chance of recovery and an article for him in a medical journal,” I said yes to the surgery. Gillian, my precious six-month old died that day. My mother at the time was in the hospital facing the removal of her colon due to colon cancer. As we left the hospital, the only thing that I could think of was how to tell my Mom that we had lost Gillian, and still convince her to continue treatment. When I got there she already knew, my nephew told her. Having lost my father two years before to suicide from drinking rubbing alcohol, I again, had to put my grief on hold to care for another.
The night before I left my home and my fledgling business to move in with my mother and care for her, two men showed up at the health club. What I remember was them saying, “We work for two Fortune 500 companies and we want to finance your project. “ I don’t know if it was grief, fear of success, or just plain numbness, but I had to turn them down. It appeared to me that my purpose was to care for my mother. My oldest sister on the other hand, wanted to put her in a nursing home close to where we both lived. Torn, because my sister was not privy to the discussion I had with my mother the day before her release from the hospital, which was also the hospital my precious baby died in, I just went forward again believing that this was my purpose, and the health club was a selfish act, so I gave it up. Looking back now, I see that a wonderful opportunity was being handed me and I had to say no because “I believed” that my purpose was to care for my mother.
To be continued daily:

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Friday, November 20, 2009


successful business woman on a laptopImage by Search Engine People Blog via Flickr

I sat at my computer first thing this morning, avoiding my Algebra homework, as usual, and found an invitation to what looks like a network for women with aspirations and ideas that will be part of the world as it changes. I hope it is something you will all join me in. Take a look at the influential and powerful women that have joined and see yourself that way. When you do...join, at least as a FREE member and begin a new journey to discovering the power within you. See you on the other side.

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Saturday, November 14, 2009

God has Such a Great Sense of Humor

I wonder what my next thought will be?Image by dannie4852 via Flickr

The Universe has such a strange way of letting us know what is going on. I was talking to one of my aunts today and I mentioned that I was more spiritual than religious (or Christian) and she pointed out what people actually perceive when they hear either of those words. Christian brings Jerry Falwell to mind, and Spiritual brings Shirley MacLaine to mind. Funny thing is I have nothing in common with either of those personalities, and my spiritual self is my Christian self. I guess it is the same as using God vs Universe in conversation. I guess when you go through experiences where you relate to others what it is you believe, one has a tendency to draw back from the truth, afraid what others may think. I thought I had done away with that when I learned "It is not my business what others think of me," by Eckhart Tolle. I guess I have to work harder.
During the conversation I mentioned to her that the Universe was sending me mixed messages lately like when I worked at the church bazaar last week and I was once again, in the middle of my two sisters, Martha and Judy. The woman on my right was named Judy and the woman on my left was named Martha. Even though my sister Judy is dead, I am still in the middle of them both, and I never should have been. I was the youngest, not the middle child. Oh well, I went on to point out to my aunt that my father must be trying to get a message to me also, because the morning after the bazaar I found my father in the kitty litter box...I know weird right? Actually his picture fell off the wall into the litter box below it.
But I digress. So I was walking the other night and some things were running through my mind and a conversation I had with one of my aunts came through, and I was suddenly struck by the sheer joy of it. She asked me what I wanted to do with my life and I said "I want to be an inspiration to others, to make a difference." The thing that made me laugh was that I have just decided to join a Direct Sales company which is something I shared with that aunt, and I remember feeling that we were inspiring others. As a matter of fact, I know we were. We loved what we were doing and we did it really well. So here is the answer to her question coming about, but what is the Universe trying to tell me about my sisters and my father. He is probably trying to get me to make up with my oldest sister, after our falling out. I am too comfortable to do that though. It seems that I like a lot less drama in my life these days. I am not angry with my sister, I am just enjoying having my children to myself, and I hope she is enjoying the same thing. But who knows...maybe I should ask Shirley MacLaine. What does my father being in the litter box really mean? lol
God does have a good sense of humor, right?

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Friday, October 23, 2009


Gift cards are a great deal more versatile than they used to be. It can be a tactful way to help out a proud friend, the solution to the person that has everything, or "I think it's best if you pick out your own jeans rather than have me guess at your size." Whatever the question is Gifts Cards are the answer.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Every child has a SPECIAL NEED

Magic Is A Child album coverImage via Wikipedia

Every child enter the world with their gifts already in place and sometimes we are the reason they lose sight of these gifts. We immediately choose to change who are children are as soon as they are born. Who are we to do that? It is not our job to change our children, it is theirs, from the moment they are conceived.
In a perfect world we would only have to believe that they would learn everything on their own, in their own way, but we are too afraid to do that.
God created each of us with the unique ability to be who we are and as parents we change that. It was never God's plan for parents to change their children, it is their job to send them on a safe path, and to develop themselves.
It is a difficult concept and it takes GREAT FAITH on our part "allow" that to take place, but in a perfect world...it would.
The next time your child is doing something that you deem improper or unacceptable, before interjecting...watch his/her process from a different mind-set and maybe you will see this/her gifts emerge, and their ability to be outstanding surface.

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Friday, September 25, 2009


framelessImage via Wikipedia

I am really stretching the comfort zone today. I wrote to Ellen DeGeneres and asked for her to have the "cash for clunkers" to come to Norton, MA for me.
I recently wrote on one of my blogs, about how I went to the Dollar Tree one day and found two books that changed my life; they were "I'm Proud of You," by Tim Madigan, written about Fred Rogers (Mr. Rogers); and the second is called "The Prayer of Jabez," about how Jabez asks God to "Expand his Property" and God answering his prayer. "1 Chronicles 4:9-10"
The first book left me feeling curious and confused about why Fred Rogers was asking Tim Madigan's brother, who was dying of cancer, to pray for him,(Fred) and the second book answered that question. Fred Rogers developed a very close relationship to Tim Madigan and his family, especially when Tim's brother Steve, was in the final stages of Cancer. During that time one of the last conversations Fred had with Steve over the phone, he ended the conversation with, "Please pray for me Steve." Asking a dying man to pray for you seemed confusing and even a little frightening to me. It was a concept I had never considered, but then I read "The Prayer of Jabez," by Bruce Wilkinson, and my question was answered.
In "The Prayer of Jabez," chapter 2 is titled "So Why not Ask?" and in it are a couple of paragraphs that tell a story about Mr. Jones getting to heaven and how when Peter has finished giving him a tour of heaven, Mr. Jones asks why Peter has not shown him one particular building and Peter answers with, "You won't want to see what is in there." Mr. Jones persists, and Peter relents, and lets him in. When Mr. Jones opens the door, what he sees is a room filled floor to ceiling with shelves, and on each of the shelves are white boxes tied with red ribbons. Mr. Jones notices that there are names on them and asks Peter if there is one with his name on it. Peter says that there is, so Mr. Jones enters the room and finds his box. What he finds inside are all the blessings that God has had in store for Mr.Jones' whole life....but he never asked for them. The idea that God wants us to ask for ourselves, is a new concept to me, and one I am trying to find comfort in, but here I am trying to teach THIS OLD DOG SOME NEW TRICKS, TO BREAK OUT OF THIS PRISON IN MY MIND CALLED AGORAPHOBIA. And the answers come to me in two $1.00 books, that just happen to be in front of me, and I just happened to have a couple of dollars to buy them with. It is a powerful message to me and I have shared this message with as many people as I can, because I don't want another day to go by without others realizing that this is what God wants for us. God wants us to be happy, for him to be happy, simple...but true. "Pray for me."

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Monday, September 21, 2009


Sometimes  it is just a word, a picture, a phrase, or a quote...to change your mind-set for the day.  Only you can control where your thoughts go...Find them in beautiful places and make yourself laugh.  Humor can change your mindset in a minute, and when it does...EXPRESS YOU GRATITUDE.  This kid will lift your day.  I first saw it on TV and had to watch it over at least three times with live TV.

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Saturday, September 19, 2009



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In life, pain is inevitable, the suffering is ...Image by tapperboy via Flickr
When I originally created "Our Gratitude" as a business, it was with lofty and ambitious drive.  None of that has changed, but I am still waiting to hear what the Universe (source) is telling me to do with it.  I have never stopped trying, although I have shifted gears many times, but I never lost sight of my original three goals, one of which is about to come to fruition.
1.  Complete a cookbook with my family called "Traveling Recipes," in memory of two family members that died in the same week in June 2007.
2.  Create a blueprint for a day program for "high functioning" adults on disability, because when my depression manifested as Agoraphobia, there were no programs available to help me.  I have a wonderful counselor, so believe me when I tell you, if there was one, Debbie would have found it for me!
3.  To have a car that makes me happy and gives me FREEDOM to access the outside world, that I have missed so dearly.

Well, the cookbook is almost completed, and I am only waiting on a few photographers to allow us permission to use their photos, and for The American Cancer and Heart Organizations to repsond with their information to recieve the donations.  All proceeds from this book have always intended to be for them, and will always be for them, even as I create new books, a percentage of all those proceeds will also be donated to them.

But back to the Universe.  The journey I took writing and compiling "Traveling Recipes," is in itself a bit of a miracle, and I express gratitude for it everyday, but here is my dilemma...FEAR OF SUCCESS!  As many fears as I have overcome in the last 5 years of my life, battling this disease, none has been more difficult to overcome as the "fear of success."  How do I know this, you ask? (Well, in my story you do), Because I can still feel the fluttering of anxiety, the closer I get to the completion, (the part where the world judges you based on their perception of what you have accomplished.)  I know "it is not my business what others think of me," ("A New EarthAwakening to You Life's Purpose," Eckhart Tolle) because my closest friends and I have adopted that principle, and it has driven us to lofty heights of self confidence; but the anxiety remains.  Although, today as I am putting off taking an exam for a class, and fiddling around with the things I do on the internet, ( you know, the business thing) I realize that I should have that anxiety, I should be afraid, I should wonder why I am nervous...because that is where success takes you...OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE.  I am not only "out of my comfort zone,"  I am "out of my mind."  Funny, huh? Out of my mind is exactly where I am supposed to be...again.  "Out of my mind," no longer trapped in the hollow corridors of my mind, afraid to face the world as who I truly am. 

So, the Universe has answered my roar, afterall, and has told me to step outside and ROOAARRR...as loud as I can, "I am exactly who I am supposed to be, I am exactly where I am supposed to be, and I am so truly, completely, and utterly, grateful to be here.  Not to be ungrateful though, but... where is my car?

Please watch for "Traveling Recipes," as it is scheduled to be release in October of 2009.
When you purchase your copy, be sure to try out the recipes, make them your own way, and send them to me with a story about yourslef, so you can be in the next of the series, "Traveling with, Traveling Recipes."
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Insight of the Day

Here is a Friday story,
I Wish You Enough
I never really thought that I'd spend as much time in airports as I do. I don't know why. I always wanted to be famous and that would mean lots of travel. But I'm not famous, yet I do see more than my share of airports.
I love them and I hate them. I love them because of the people I get to watch. But they are also the same reason why I hate airports. It all comes down to "hello" and "goodbye." I must have mentioned this a few times while writing my stories.
I have great difficulties with saying goodbye. Even as I write this I am experiencing that pounding sensation in my heart. If I am watching such a scene in a movie I am affected so much that I need to sit up and take a few deep breaths. So when faced with a challenge in my life I have been known to go to our local airport and watch people say goodbye. I figure nothing that is happening to me at the time could be as bad as having to say goodbye.
Watching people cling to each other, crying, and holding each other in that last embrace makes me appreciate what I have even more. Seeing them finally pull apart, extending their arms until the tips of their fingers are the last to let go, is an image that stays forefront in my mind throughout the day.
On one of my recent business trips, when I arrived at the counter to check in, the woman said, "How are you today?" I replied, "I am missing my wife already and I haven't even said goodbye."
She then looked at my ticket and began to ask, "How long will you...Oh, my God. You will only be gone three days!" We all laughed. My problem was I still had to say goodbye.
But I learn from goodbye moments, too.
Recently I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together. They had announced her departure and standing near the security gate, they hugged and he said, "I love you. I wish you enough." She in turn said, "Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy."
They kis sed and she left. He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say goodbye to someone knowing it would be forever?"
"Yes, I have," I replied. Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me.
So I knew what this man was experiencing.
"Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever goodbye?" I asked.
"I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, the next trip back would be for my funeral," he said.
"When you were saying goodbye I heard you say, "I wish you enough." May I ask what that means?"
He began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." He paused for a moment and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more."When we said 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them," he continued and then turning toward me he shared the following=2 0as if he
were reciting it from memory.
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough "Hello's" to get you through the final "Goodbye."
He then began to sob and walked away.
My friends, I wish you enough!

Bob Perks
Bob Perks is a professional writer and speaker. You can visit his website at: www.BobPerks.com
Thomas Nelson Publishers will be releasing his book, I Wish You Enough: Embracing Life's Most Valuable Moments - One Wish at a Time on December 8, 2009. It is a collection of his stories based on the "Eight Wishes" expressed in the original story. It can be pre-ordered at a savings by clicking here.
Click here for our printable version

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Everyday between 3:00 am and 4:00 am, 5 days per week, I know, with certainty, that there will be a message in my email box that will launch my day. Mike Dooley has a gift that is unexplainable and right on every time. He has changed the whole look on Tut's Adventure Club and if you are looking for the gift that expresses "exactly" how you feel about someone...go there:
Tut's Adventure Club
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Thursday, September 17, 2009


It's sad that with every good intention there are people that manage to make bad ones out of them. It never ocurred to me that this song was about anything other than a young boy's life and his innocence. Happiness is a mind set, as is health, so always having good intentions is the perfect way to always be happy. (naturally)
They were wonderful at what they did and it is sad to know she has passed, but the idea that Peter, Paul, and Mary gave so much to the world; should give us comfort in her passing.

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009


A few times a week, my friend Dave Kenyon, sends me a spiritual and uplifting video. The one I got today i thought I should share. It is so peaceful and inspirational that I believe many would benefit from it. this one is called "The Secret to Know One Thing." I hope someone benefits from it, as I know I will.


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Thursday, July 23, 2009


Image of Mike Dooley from FacebookImage of Mike Dooley

Infinite Possibilities: The Art of Living Your Dreams – The brand NEW book by Mike Dooley!

A profound exploration into the mysteries of the Universe. Infinite Possibilities is bestselling author Mike Dooley’s manifesto, revealing that we are literally the eyes and the ears of the Divine. He enlightens that our dreams are not accidental but serve rather as invitations to understand the truth about ourselves, hinting at the lives we can create. Dooley shares that our “default settings” are abundance, health, and harmony, and he explains that once we grasp the truth about our heritage, thinking far beyond what spirituality has traditionally meant, it becomes evident that life, itself, is the ultimate adventure—filled with unending opportunities that day-by-day lead us to rediscover how powerful we are, how much we deserve, and why we’re here. With recognizable insight, lighthearted wit, and striking sincerity, this new work by the much-celebrated author elevates the lessons learned in The Secret, Choose Them Wisely and his Notes from the Universe trilogy to a whole new level. Prepare to be challenged and excited with this unique guide to living the life of your dreams—purposefully, lovingly, brilliantly.

An international tax accountant turned entrepreneur turned writer for “the Universe,” Mike Dooley lives in Orlando Florida, where he runs TUT’s Adventurers Club and sends out his Notes from the Universe to hundreds of thousands of e-mail subscribers each weekday. As a featured teach in The Secret book and DVD, Dooley is actively using the profound concepts and principles he expounds upon to travel the world speaking on life, dreams, and happiness.

A “Month of Infinite Possibilities” – TUT is making dreams come true!!

In celebration of the release of Mike Dooley’s brand new book, Infinite Possibilities: The Art of Living Your Dreams, TUT has decided to make the entire month of September a “Month of Infinite Possibilities,” dedicated to making people’s dreams come true! Each person who purchases the book will be entered into our drawing with a chance at winning several “dream” prizes (including 9 days in Egypt with the TUT team and fellow Adventurers, a week in Hawaii for two, a year’s supply of organic chocolate, a relaxing spa vacation, 100 free signed books, and lots more!). To enter to WIN, just purchase the book from Amazon, Barnes&Noble, or any other bookstore, and go to www.tut.com for details on where to send your order receipt!

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Friday, May 29, 2009

Sunday, May 24, 2009


Cover of "The Science of Getting Rich"Cover of The Science of Getting Rich

I have been taking time to allow the practice of PRESENCE to settle within me, and come about when I can. It is so amazing, restful, peaceful, and almost magical how it makes me feel.
I am sharing my reading time now,with "The Power of Now," and "The Science of Getting Rich." The merge of the two books is filling me with such powerful and believable thoughts, it has gotten me back to complete my book project, which I hope will be done before June 26, 2009, which is the Anniversary of the deaths of my two family members; the book is to honor.
The books have given me an entirely new approach to the content and it is coming rather quickly,I am totally enjoying this process. I love my life at this very moment. How is yours? Get your hands on these two books and see how everything around you begins to change, when you begin to change.
I hope you will come back and let me know.

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Thursday, May 21, 2009


Cover of "Power of Now"Cover of Power of Now

I’m reading the “Power of Now,” by Eckhart Tolle, and this morning I was reading Chapter five where he is talking about The State of Presence and he suggests that one should try a little experiment. “Close your eyes and say to yourself: “I wonder what my next thought will be?” Then be very alert and wait for the next thought. Be like a cat watching a mouse hole. What thought is going to come out of the mouse hole?” and he suggests to try it now. So as I was on my walk tonight with Willie Nelson playing in my ears, I remembered the thought, so I let it run through my mind and in the next instance, I turned my head to the left and out of nothing, and nowhere there was a tiny, perfect white flower. I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. How beautiful. The best part is that I got to experience PRESENCE as he describes it in Chapter 5, and the reward was so beautiful, one tiny little white flower out of nowhere standing there just waiting for my mind to quiet enough to notice it. You can be sure my neighbors are thinking I’m crazy now (not that I care), but here I am doing my power walk laughing right out loud. It was beautiful, absolutely beautiful. It’s not like I have never seen anything like that before, but in PRESENCE it is just so alive.

Earlier in the day I was sitting with my friend Beverly and a yellow butterfly skimmed past us. She said “Hi, Vi.” and then explained to me that that is how her sister Violet comes to her,” and then she asked me if I had seen the Oriole this morning and I had so say no, I missed it. I then asked her if she had seen the Cardinal that had been around lately because I believe that is how my sister comes to me. Five minutes later, I was at the laundromat at the front of our complex and when I parked the car, the cardinal flew right past me, and I said, Hi Judi.”

Life is so amazing when you open your mind and eyes to the beauty that surrounds us every minute of everyday. Try Tolle’s experiment and see what you come up with. I hope you experience is as wonderful as mine was.

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Tuesday, May 5, 2009


Cover of "The Prayer Chest: A Novel About...Cover via Amazon

"If you change the way you look at things,
the things you look at change."

Dr. Wayne Dyer: Self-development author and speaker

I read this in an email this morning from Nightingale-Conant and it slapped me right in the face. I joked with my friend Michele about this yesterday, but it really wasn't funny. I use humor to take the sting off the things I know I am still floundering with, but need to change. I jokingly said to her, "seriously what do I have to do, be psychoanalyzed?" That was a question about an addiction I have developed to replace smoking 3 1/2 packs of cigarettes and a bottle of alcohol 2 years ago, with of all things, potato sticks.

I learn something new everyday, I try something new everyday, I know what my plans are but putting them down and moving toward them is truly frightening when one begins to believe the dream may actually come true, and you may actually have to do the work. The synchronicities become so overwhelming, you cannot decide where to begin. The beginning or the end.

Many years a go I was given an opportunity to make a dream come true and was moving everyday in the direction of its completion,amidst great defeat and turmoil, but I chose to take care of my mother at the time (she was sick with Cancer, and asked me to care for her at home) and leave the dream behind. The funny thing is, I was grieving for the loss of my child, (tomorrow is the Anniversary my child's passing) but I was fully believing that I was moving in the direction of my dream,seeing it coming to fruition; and the night before I went to stay with my mother, the one thing missing in the dream...came face to face with me,(the major financing) and I had to say, no. I still wonder if that was self-sabotage or was I just doing the right thing by leaving it all behind to be a good daughter, and a good mother. Well, today is when I stop wondering about it and start moving forward in my dream. Win or lose, pass or fail, it begins today.

I am in the process of creating a blueprint for a day program for high functioning adults debilitated from disabilities, either physical or mental. When I first became debilitated with Agoraphobia 4 years ago, there were no programs like this available for me in my community. I want to create that program and I am taking the first baby steps toward it with a new Social Network that I am creating called "The Prayer Chest." The purpose of the Network is to sell the book "The Prayer Chest," and use the minuscule proceeds from those sales to fund the creation of the program. I am looking to sell 1 million copies. The proceeds are only like 6 cents from the sale of each book, but the authors(2 ministers) will reap the benefit of the sales and I will be able to fund this community project. Please let others know and ask them to come here and click on the link to purchase the book from Amazon.com, or go to my Craft Blog and purchase it there. There is a vital and necessary need for this program in my community and I want to payback for the help that I have gotten by re-creating the resources I used to find recovery. I believe I can do this, and I believe that it will benefit my commjunity greatly and maybe other communities as well. Please sendd this to a friend or pass it along any way you can. Please, people need this program.

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Wednesday, April 15, 2009


Cover of "The Prayer Chest: A Novel About...Cover via Amazon

I got the first copy of The Prayer Chest. The idea is to read it, sign it, and pass it along to the next person, to get as many people as we can to read them. I think it will make a difference in a lot of people.
The Prayer Chest: A Novel About Receiving All of Life's Riches">
Click here to go to amazon and get a copy and start passing it on to others. Ask others to get a copy also and start passing that one along also. This is a great way to send the most beautiful message to everyone.

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Monday, April 13, 2009

Such Unexpected Ways


Things come to us in such unexpected ways. I was watching a sitcom on television and I caught one of the "vanity cards" that Chuck Lorre puts on the last screen shot of the credits. The show is "The Big Bang Theory," but he puts them on other shows he writes for as well. Anyway, I Googled the vanity card #248 and found a wonderful blog because of that search. The blog is called "So Much More Than a Mom," and I found some really great content on there about living with a narcissist, which is why I have PTSD. The remnants of a father and a second husband, both narcissists. I still find it hard to believe that so many are still fooled by narcissists, but they are. I know a couple of women that should be taking steps to protect their children from this kind of mental abuse but are totally unaware that it exists, and telling them only sends them further away from real help.
I also found a great charity on that same blog. The charity is called "First Book," and it is a great idea to provide books for children that do not have them. I have always considered books great gift giving and in my family we always start with "The Giving Tree." We take things like books for granted and being reminded how valuable they are is great. Be sure to take a look at the blog.

Saturday, April 11, 2009


101 016 (DB class 101) with UNICEF ads at Ingo...Image via Wikipedia

I am experiencing a message lately that is telling me how much easier life is than I make it. I have always over thought things, however, I do not see this as a stumbling block anymore. I am finding that the more I look for the answers the more answers come to me. Confused? Well don't be, just try it. Decide what your actual question is; is it about your business, your personal life, family and friends, whatever it is just ask the question and the answers will come. "You are what you think about," "thoughts become things.I I have been saying these things for a few years now and the people around me are also now seeing the answers to their questions. it is not voodoo, religion, or anything hokey. It is just a simple scientific principle that states, "You are what you think about," "you are who you surround yourself with." I have been telling my group of friends lately that "one of us needs to get rich, because we all need money; and the only way to get it is to surround ourselves with "the rich," and then share it with each other," or we should all be thinking 'that we are rich."

Awhile back, I wrote a story about what my father always said to me when I felt sick or out of sorts, it was "it's all in your head," and I talked about what a blessing that was to me, considering that my father was an abusive alcoholic. Whatever state of mind you are in, is the environment you are choosing to live in. When I was young and my father said that to me, I was sad, and felt that no one really cared about me. In hindsight I realize that my parents loved me they just did not know how to show me in a way that I understood. They did the best they could. I know, that is just a "pat line" you hear from people all the time, but the fact is, it is true. Families sometimes grow apart because each member is in a different place in their life and how they are hearing what is going on around them is keeping them stuck where they are. Well, the only way one gets unstuck is to choose it. Choose to be unstuck, "right, that is great advice." The voice of my unconscious mind is becoming critical and outspoken about the way I view things now. "Just what I need, another voice telling me what to do." There it goes again. Well before it takes over completely, let me make my point. ",CHOOSE GOOD THOUGHTS," every minute of everyday that you can. Do not be afraid of the negative ones, "because one positive thoughts is so much more powerful than one negative one," and the positive one has the power to overcome the negative one.

If your questions are about your business, the answer is the same. Ask the question and the answers will come. I found the answer to a question this morning. "How am I going to get more people to listen to me, to buy what i sell, to visit my websites, and blogs and begin to find value in what I have to offer as a person. Here is the simple answer I got today..."PUT YOUR NAME ON IT." Seriously, how simple is that? Here's the best part, it's actually really cheap too. The best advertising in the world is the one you create that gets you seen by others so, put it on a business card, a pencil, a pen, your car door, your web site, your blog, your address labels, your stationary and do it by going here:-->

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