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Here in what is again, sunny Florida, I find myself transforming from my previous self and confronting issues from my past quite successfully. Having been so separate from this family of people has been hard because I never really knew the truth. The truth will set you free. How many times have you heard that in your lifetime? I see now, in hindsight, as usual, the affect these truths held me back from. I have to say it was my coping mechanism, to not know the truth. Now having been confronted by it; I am free. My mind is more open than anytime in the last decade and I see myself for the person I had hoped others would have seen me. It's true. They knew the goodness in me, and I am so relieved to find that out now.
One should never leave the past unexposed. Take control by seeing what it is for real. I don't have what it takes to battle my blood family over the past right now, but this family is good for me. I wish I had recorded all the conversations I have had about my past to compile them together in a book that would be of help to others. I am working at it and trying to present it in it's true light; but the darkness of it is so evil and frightening I can only do it in short periods of time. Recovery from the memory of those times takes more time than actually confronting the issue, but it is worth it and I feel safe here doing just that.

AND OUT OF NOWHERE AND NOTHING, (cont'd)

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I took a second job, as a special needs bus driver so I would have a vehicle without expenses and became a home demonstrator for a direct sales company. My youngest son was at an age where he was old enough to care for the children and although it was a heavy burden for a young boy that had only a few years before lost his sister and both grandparents, he helped to hold us all together. He was my Godsend, and in time, our lives settled into peaceful ones, at least for a while. We had a few vandalizing events around Christmas the first year. Someone took a baseball bat to the windows of my school vehicle and through a larger boulder through the picture window where the Christmas tree stood. I never tried to prove these things were his doing, but I had a sense about them. I tried so hard to stay in a positive state of mind amidst the turmoil. It was hard and I began treatment for depression, despite being able to carry out all the necessary things in my life, it triggered an old disability of clinical depression. There was great fear lingering in me all the time but I had to keep going for the children. I never spoke a bad word about their father or made them privy to the fear I had about the vandalism, but in time, they formed their own opinion about how they felt about him. If one always does what is right, the truth will always come out. The truth was not mine to tell, but my children found it anyway. When they did, I was there to talk them through it until my youngest son turned 13.
My ex-husband was also a narcissist; something we would discover later on, but if my children did not call him every day and tell him how grateful they were for everything that he gave them, he would spin into a tirade.(A God complex) Many phone conversations and lies later, he called and told my youngest son, the only one that still loved him, never to call him again. He broke my son that day, and although I have forgiven him, I have no use for the man in my life and neither do my children. What kind of parent says something like that to their child? He went on later to say to me that “my” children were “white trash, and had never been raised properly.” My children, really? I responded with, “Never call me again, you have no idea what it means to parent a child and the influence you “inflict” on my children is destroying them.” A few months later, I learned, not by him, but from the return address on the child support payment, he resented every month he made it, that he and his wife moved to Georgia. Well, I say good luck to Georgia. He had burned all his bridges in this area and needed to re-locate, re-invent, and run from all the mistakes he had made here. (cont’d)

Every child has a SPECIAL NEED

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Every child enter the world with their gifts already in place and sometimes we are the reason they lose sight of these gifts. We immediately choose to change who are children are as soon as they are born. Who are we to do that? It is not our job to change our children, it is theirs, from the moment they are conceived.
In a perfect world we would only have to believe that they would learn everything on their own, in their own way, but we are too afraid to do that.
God created each of us with the unique ability to be who we are and as parents we change that. It was never God's plan for parents to change their children, it is their job to send them on a safe path, and to develop themselves.
It is a difficult concept and it takes GREAT FAITH on our part "allow" that to take place, but in a perfect world...it would.
The next time your child is doing something that you deem improper or unacceptable, before interjecting...watch his/her process from a different mind-set and maybe you will see this/her gifts emerge, and their ability to be outstanding surface.

YOUR CHILD'S SPECIAL NEEDS

UNIVERSE, HEAR ME ROAR! IAM OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE!

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When I originally created "Our Gratitude" as a business, it was with lofty and ambitious drive.  None of that has changed, but I am still waiting to hear what the Universe (source) is telling me to do with it.  I have never stopped trying, although I have shifted gears many times, but I never lost sight of my original three goals, one of which is about to come to fruition.
1.  Complete a cookbook with my family called "Traveling Recipes," in memory of two family members that died in the same week in June 2007.
2.  Create a blueprint for a day program for "high functioning" adults on disability, because when my depression manifested as Agoraphobia, there were no programs available to help me.  I have a wonderful counselor, so believe me when I tell you, if there was one, Debbie would have found it for me!
3.  To have a car that makes me happy and gives me FREEDOM to access the outside world, that I have missed so dearly.

Well, the cookbook is almost completed, and I am only waiting on a few photographers to allow us permission to use their photos, and for The American Cancer and Heart Organizations to repsond with their information to recieve the donations.  All proceeds from this book have always intended to be for them, and will always be for them, even as I create new books, a percentage of all those proceeds will also be donated to them.

But back to the Universe.  The journey I took writing and compiling "Traveling Recipes," is in itself a bit of a miracle, and I express gratitude for it everyday, but here is my dilemma...FEAR OF SUCCESS!  As many fears as I have overcome in the last 5 years of my life, battling this disease, none has been more difficult to overcome as the "fear of success."  How do I know this, you ask? (Well, in my story you do), Because I can still feel the fluttering of anxiety, the closer I get to the completion, (the part where the world judges you based on their perception of what you have accomplished.)  I know "it is not my business what others think of me," ("A New Earth:  Awakening to You Life's Purpose," Eckhart Tolle) because my closest friends and I have adopted that principle, and it has driven us to lofty heights of self confidence; but the anxiety remains.  Although, today as I am putting off taking an exam for a class, and fiddling around with the things I do on the internet, ( you know, the business thing) I realize that I should have that anxiety, I should be afraid, I should wonder why I am nervous...because that is where success takes you...OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE.  I am not only "out of my comfort zone,"  I am "out of my mind."  Funny, huh? Out of my mind is exactly where I am supposed to be...again.  "Out of my mind," no longer trapped in the hollow corridors of my mind, afraid to face the world as who I truly am. 

So, the Universe has answered my roar, afterall, and has told me to step outside and ROOAARRR...as loud as I can, "I am exactly who I am supposed to be, I am exactly where I am supposed to be, and I am so truly, completely, and utterly, grateful to be here.  Not to be ungrateful though, but... where is my car?

Please watch for "Traveling Recipes," as it is scheduled to be release in October of 2009.
When you purchase your copy, be sure to try out the recipes, make them your own way, and send them to me with a story about yourslef, so you can be in the next of the series, "Traveling with, Traveling Recipes."

PRESENCE

Cover of The Science of Getting Rich

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I have been taking time to allow the practice of PRESENCE to settle within me, and come about when I can. It is so amazing, restful, peaceful, and almost magical how it makes me feel.
I am sharing my reading time now,with "The Power of Now," and "The Science of Getting Rich." The merge of the two books is filling me with such powerful and believable thoughts, it has gotten me back to complete my book project, which I hope will be done before June 26, 2009, which is the Anniversary of the deaths of my two family members; the book is to honor.
The books have given me an entirely new approach to the content and it is coming rather quickly,I am totally enjoying this process. I love my life at this very moment. How is yours? Get your hands on these two books and see how everything around you begins to change, when you begin to change.
I hope you will come back and let me know.

IT'S NOT JUST A "PAT LINE."

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I am experiencing a message lately that is telling me how much easier life is than I make it. I have always over thought things, however, I do not see this as a stumbling block anymore. I am finding that the more I look for the answers the more answers come to me. Confused? Well don't be, just try it. Decide what your actual question is; is it about your business, your personal life, family and friends, whatever it is just ask the question and the answers will come. "You are what you think about," "thoughts become things.I I have been saying these things for a few years now and the people around me are also now seeing the answers to their questions. it is not voodoo, religion, or anything hokey. It is just a simple scientific principle that states, "You are what you think about," "you are who you surround yourself with." I have been telling my group of friends lately that "one of us needs to get rich, because we all need money; and the only way to get it is to surround ourselves with "the rich," and then share it with each other," or we should all be thinking 'that we are rich."

Awhile back, I wrote a story about what my father always said to me when I felt sick or out of sorts, it was "it's all in your head," and I talked about what a blessing that was to me, considering that my father was an abusive alcoholic. Whatever state of mind you are in, is the environment you are choosing to live in. When I was young and my father said that to me, I was sad, and felt that no one really cared about me. In hindsight I realize that my parents loved me they just did not know how to show me in a way that I understood. They did the best they could. I know, that is just a "pat line" you hear from people all the time, but the fact is, it is true. Families sometimes grow apart because each member is in a different place in their life and how they are hearing what is going on around them is keeping them stuck where they are. Well, the only way one gets unstuck is to choose it. Choose to be unstuck, "right, that is great advice." The voice of my unconscious mind is becoming critical and outspoken about the way I view things now. "Just what I need, another voice telling me what to do." There it goes again. Well before it takes over completely, let me make my point. ",CHOOSE GOOD THOUGHTS," every minute of everyday that you can. Do not be afraid of the negative ones, "because one positive thoughts is so much more powerful than one negative one," and the positive one has the power to overcome the negative one.

If your questions are about your business, the answer is the same. Ask the question and the answers will come. I found the answer to a question this morning. "How am I going to get more people to listen to me, to buy what i sell, to visit my websites, and blogs and begin to find value in what I have to offer as a person. Here is the simple answer I got today..."PUT YOUR NAME ON IT." Seriously, how simple is that? Here's the best part, it's actually really cheap too. The best advertising in the world is the one you create that gets you seen by others so, put it on a business card, a pencil, a pen, your car door, your web site, your blog, your address labels, your stationary and do it by going here:-->

His Family Breathes Love for Him

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Somewhere back in my earlier posts I mention that I am in recovery from Agoraphobia (fear of open spaces). Well, today I have to say big freakin deal...I was sitting here at 11:00 p.m. tonight thinking about going to bed but was not quite tired enough. As I scrolled through the listings in my DVR, I saw that Oprah's interview with Michael J. Fox was on today. I have only, at this moment, seen the first 10 minutes; and the crappy day I thought I was having is nothing, nil. My recovery from Agoraphobia is nothing, nil, my quitting smoking is nothing, nil...my giving up excessive drinking is nothing, nil. What Michael J. Fox and his family are living is
"everything to everyone." I am sitting here now so blown away by the courage and fortitude that man has; and I am so grateful that President Obama has signed the bill that is going to help Michael have the life he so deserves.
There is so much love in his life. Just breathing the love his children and wife have for him must be his miracle drug. I have yet to read his book, but it is so on my list right now.

It's amazing that whenever you think things are bad in your life; something always comes along that makes you remember how grateful you are for everything and everybody in your life. All I can say is Thank you, God...thank you...thank you, for this wonderful human being, that is Michael J. Fox.

I am touched, motivated, and blessed that I was not ready to go to sleep, and took the opportunity to listen to this interview. If you haven't see it I hope they will repeat it (I'm sure they will). But, in the meantime, just remember to be grateful everyday for everything.

THE TEEN CREED

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The Bonnie Hunt's show on Friday was really interesting with Rosie O'Donnell as a guest. Rosie talked about her new movie "America" airing tonight on the Lifetime Channel and also about "Munny,"from KidRobot which is a new toy that helps children become more creative.

The most poignant part of the show was a retrospective of Bonnie's about when she was 12 years old and her mother (who often shows up on the show via web cam or Skype)gave all of her brothers and sisters a laminated copy of "The Teen Creed," which they had to memorize and recite each time they left home without their mother.

It's really funny how everything comes full circle. This is a great tool from when I was a teen, (I'm older than Bonnie, much older)and parents provided very specific guidelines for children, and instilled a sense of responsibility in them. In my home most of what we had to memorize were bible verses, but they were related to punishment, which in hindsight I now realize gave me a distorted sense of structured religion.

Even two parent homes seem to be having difficulty teaching their children about the consequences of their actions these days. And it is such a difficult time right now in the world, our children need to know how to handle much graver issues than we ever had to deal with. Below is a copy of "The Teen Creed" consider making a laminated copy for your child, have them memorize it, and also instill in them that you will love them unconditionally, and they only have to call you to pick them up when they are in trouble...NO QUESTIONS ASKED...and make sure to stand by that commitment, don't ask....unless they want or need to talk about the situation. Be proud of them for taking the right route. Calling home and removing themselves from bad situations, means they have the tools they need to make smart decisions, by knowing and understanding the consequences of their actions.

Bonnie including her mother as part of her show, and sharing experiences of her childhood with her mother's parenting skills, is a purely perfect move. Her mother ads a great dimension to the show. Her mother truly understands what loving "unconditionally " means.

HERE IS THE TEEN CREED from the Bonnie Hunt Show

1. Don’t let your parents down, they brought you up.
2. Be humble enough to obey, you may give orders someday.
3. Choose companions with care, you become who they are.
4. Guard your thoughts, what you think you are.
5. Choose only a date who would make a good mate.
6. Be a master of your habits or they will master you.
7. Don’t be a show off when you drive, drive with safety and arrive.
8. Don’t let the crowd pressure you.
9. Stand for something or you’ll fall for something.

I'LL BE ABOUT MY FATHER'S BUSINESS

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I sit at my computer each day for different reasons at any given time during the day. If I'm watching television and I run across something I don't know about, I have to get up and go right over to the computer and look it up. I also go to school on line and getting my degree would never be as possible for me without my computer. Friends call and ask me for help, I seem to be the go to girl for information, I go right to my computer.

I am working on writing a cookbook with my family and I should spend more time on it but I do spend sometime each week, at this rate though I don't know if they will all be around to read it. I better get a move on with that....

Whatever reason I sit here seems very important at the time, but lately, there seems to be a lot of frustration attached to that connection. I try each day to learn something new, to do something for one person, to help where I can, to cheer someone up, and to generate income from what I do also, but something is frustrating me, it's as though someone is telling me I'm not doing the right things. I feel like something is trying to do the work for me, but if that were the case...it would not be my work, and the joy of accomplishing it would be diminished. I am a strong believer in The Law of Attraction and it teaches that "you are what you think about." So when this frustration takes over me, I get angry and the funny thing is, I'm not an angry person. W. Clement stone used to say that "the universe was conspiring for him," I'm going to try an incorporate that into my mind set a lot more than I have been able to before and let nature take it's course and let God or if you prefer The Universe lead me in the direction that I should go. As Loretta Young used to say,"I'll just be about my father's business." Well, I guess that is what I'm going to have to believe, because I do not want to be an angry, unhappy person, I have too much joy to share with others to stay in that mind set. So it is onward and upward...and my needs will be met when they are deemed necessary I guess.

HELP IMPROVE THE LIVES OF OTHERS

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