OUR GRATITUDE

Showing posts with label ODD. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ODD. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

There is a reason it is called The Pepsi "Challenge"

Patchwork Quilts, 1982Image by dannie4852 via FlickrGOOGLE

or the third time in 2010 we did not collect enough votes to stay in the running. I will probably run again in March when they start accepting new Grantees. I am collecting resources now to get to the top in April. I will be asking many craft, and quilting sites to offer me their support. I will begin collecting them on my Face book page for the "challenge." It is a difficult challenge to win because it is based "totally" on people voting for me. I never give up, so I'll be in the fight again come March or April. So look for us and go to my page on Facebook to offer your commitment to vote for me. Please share with friends and family because this challenge is not about me it is about the disabled. Visit OUR GRATITUDE regularly to check for updates and our new start date.
I hope all that read this will go to the page join and lend "helping others with no expectation of return," is how life is meant to be lived. I hope to serve the disabled in my community and many others with this program. Please join in and lend me your support by beginning to collect bloggers, friends, and families to vote for us during our next challenge.
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Friday, June 27, 2008

E-SPEAKS NEWS UPDATES

e-Speaks || June 27, 2008
Autism Speaks Awards More than $4 Million in Treatment and Family Services Grants

Autism Speaks awarded 13 new grants in the field of treatment research, including six grants in complementary and alternative medicine. This research will help parents make informed choices for their family members at a time when treatment options for autism are far from standardized. In addition, the Board of Directors approved 21 grants for local community programs which will improve and enrich the lives of individuals with autism spectrum disorders. Read more about treatment grants here and see a complete list of grants awarded. Read summaries of funded community grants here and read a release about the program here.

Autism Speaks Names New Members to Scientific Advisory Committee

Autism Speaks has named nine new members to its Scientific Advisory Committee (SAC), a group of scientific and medical experts who will help shape Autism Speaks' strategic plan for science and research priorities. The SAC will be chaired by newly appointed member Geraldine Dawson, Ph.D., the Chief Science Officer of Autism Speaks. Read more.

CTN Announces Two New Study Sites
Autism Speaks' Clinical Trials Network announced the addition of two new centers taking part in its on-going trial, the Study of Fluoxetine in Autism (SOFIA). The study will include more than 100 children and adolescents with autism to examine the effectiveness of Neuropharm's "melt-in-the-mouth" preparation of fluoxetine in reducing certain core symptoms of autism. Read more.

AutismCares Supports Families Affected by Midwest Floods
AutismCares, a consortium of leading autism organizations, is actively seeking to assist families affected by autism who are also victims of the Midwest Floods, and invites those families to call the Autism Response Team at 1-888-Autism2 or e-mail autismcares@autismspeaks.org to receive assistance. Families may also apply for support funding directly at autismcares.org. Those looking to assist the relief efforts can donate online. Read more.

IAN Reports on Regression
The Interactive Autism Network (IAN), which collects information via the Internet from families of children with autism spectrum disorders throughout the U.S., surveyed parents on regression in their children with ASD. In this report, IAN researchers share data on what parents have reported about the frequency and nature of skill losses and skill plateaus. Read more.


Weekend Walks Raise Over $1.7 Million
Six Walk Now for Autism events took place over the past two weekends, with more than 22,450 participants raising over $1.7 million. Read more and view photos and video from the Blair County, Dallas-Fort Worth, Hawaii, New York City, Southern New Jersey, and Vermont Walks.

10th Anniversary NY Celebrity Golf Challenge Raises More than $1 Million

Autism Speaks' 10th annual New York Celebrity Golf Challenge raised more than $1 million on June 16. The event, held at the renowned Winged Foot course in Mamaroneck, New York, brought out celebrities from the worlds of sports and entertainment, including season five "American Idol" winner Taylor Hicks. Read more and view photos and video here.

Athletes Against Autism Golf Tournament Raises over $290,000


Over 30 athletes and celebrities raised more than $290,000 at this year's 3rd Annual Athletes Against Autism Golf Tournament, presented by Cadillac, at the Bacara Resort & Spa in Santa Barbara, Calif. The tournament, which was held June 22-23, included a gala and silent auction, a number of on-course contests, and a BBQ Dinner & Awards reception. Read more and view photos and video here.


Ride Now Rolls into Seattle


Last weekend nearly 60 bikers gathered in Washington for that state's first ever Autism Now ING Direct Ride Now event, which raised almost $10,000. Riders from all over the greater Seattle area carried signs and wore bandanas, pins and shirts with the Autism Speaks logo to raise awareness throughout their two hour ride. Read more and view photos and video here.

Nantucket Film Festival Features Awareness Ads

For the third year in a row, the Nantucket Film Festival featured Autism Speaks public service advertisements, produced in conjunction with the Ad Council, which were screened prior to each feature film shown at the festival. In addition, the Nantucket Film Festival and NBC Universal renamed the Screenwriter's Tribute Award in honor Suzanne and Bob Wright, co-founders of Autism Speaks. Read more.

Hit the Beach with Autism Speaks!
Back by popular demand, the Autism Speaks beach tote and towel set will get you set for beach or poolside. The spacious tote with 32" shoulder straps has a light blue and navy contemporary design. The logoed front pocket has an integrated water bottle holder for easy access and the interior features a zippered pocket to keep contents secure. The white velour terry beach towel measures 28" x 52" and sports the Autism Speaks logo.


In Their Own Words: Can You Hear Me Now?
In our latest "In Their Own Words" essay, the older brother of a child with autism writes about his experience growing up with a sibling who needed a great deal of attention, and how his experiences led him to form a sibling support group. Read
more.

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Friday, March 28, 2008

SNEAKY LITTLE DEVIL!

The Law of Attraction is a sneaky little devil. I was trolling blog sites today looking for the missing link to the monetary part of my quest and I ran across a couple of sites run by parents, families and friends of Autisim and Aspergers. Naturally I felt compelled to offer service and made a point of putting it on my ODD website.
Funny thing is, it is exactly what I was looking for, who knew?

That is exactly how it works. What you are putting out to the Universe comes to you. I thought I was looking for the solution to a problem I was having and by finding those sites, I realized...I do not have a problem. I have everything I need in my joyous and grateful life. Nothing gives me more pleasure than to help others and the Universe knows that about me.

These people need our help so lets give it to them.


Make a choice to watch it, read it or live it…but at least try it, and remember this:
THE SECRET.

Thoughts do become things.

There are no coincidences.
Miracles are all around us.
Ask, Believe, and you will receive
It all begins with baby steps.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

ARE YOU SUCCESSFUL?

Is it a false sense of security to believe, although you cannot see it, that you have enough faith in your ability to overcome any obstacles, and that you are financially successful? If you do not believe, does that make you a failure?

It is only by putting yourself out there that you can, even remotely, begin to believe in yourself. Anyone can sit in front of a computer and appear to be successful, but to actually feel it, is to walk into a store and change how you think about money. I did that two days ago and again today, and for the first time, I did not overdraw my checking account. Does that make me successful? No, what makes me successful, is the fact that I am no longer afraid of money, whether I have it or not. I am successful when I have found what is important in life and money really has nothing to with it…or everything to do with it.

Success is a mind set that naturally, begins first with a thought like everything else. When you think you are successful, and believe you are successful….YOU ARE. You cannot be successful until you have thought it.

Make a choice to watch it, read it or live it…but at least try it, and remember:
THE SECRET

Thoughts do become things.
There are no coincidences.

Miracles are all around us
Ask, Believe and you will receive.
It all begins with baby steps.

Friday, February 29, 2008

YOU ARE WHAT YOU CHOOSE!

My First Powerful Intention

09:24 AM, 08 Mar 2007


This morning I was watching a PBS special that had Dr Wayne Dyer on it and when I heard this beautiful story about The Monarch Butterfly. I started laughing so hard, I paused the TV, and turned to my journal and wrote. Ellen DeGeneres should have him on her show. Then I took the TV off pause and re-watched that part of the show and, I, again started laughing and my hand hit the remote control and the TV guide menu came on and Ellen DeGeneres’ show was highlighted. I went downstairs to the computer, went on her web page, and sent my suggestion that she put Dr. Dyer on her show and tell the butterfly story.
I also told her that it was because the humor and the message of that story would be like something she would laugh at. I also told her I watch her everyday and she contributes such Joy to the world.

09:24 AM, 08 Mar 2007

YOU ARE WHAT YOU CHOOSE! FEBRUARY 29, 2008

I am so excited today! My very first intention has come to fruition. This morning Wayne Dyer was on The Ellen DeGeneres show! Although, he did not tell the particular butterfly story I had heard, he did tell one story about a butterfly.

He was talking about the ego and how "ego is an idea we carry around with us," it is the false self. When we are in the womb for 9 months we do not have to do any work, we just ALLOW, but when we are born our parents say, "Ok, God we can take over from here,” and that is when we start we start to edge God out. We are born without ego. We train our children "you are what you have," we spend a lot of time and energy believing we are what we accumulate” and so the more stuff that we get, the more valuable we are, and we begin to associate our value as a person, on what we accumulate, and what we have. Then we put more training in and we say, you are not only what you have, but "you are what you do," so we go to school learning how to do more of these things. The problem with that is when you believe that what you do, and you “do not,” then you believe you have no value anymore. We then begin to train our children with "You are what other people think of you" but that changes every time we speak.

Therefore, the three keys are:

You are what you have

You are what you do

You are your reputation

Wayne Dyer went on to say, how we want to try to remove the three things above as part of ourselves. The ego is the identifying mark of who we are and who we are being, we have edged God out, and what we want to do is try to remove that part of ourselves. When we do that the ego says, "You are separate from everyone else.” And so, “You are separate from God,” which is the most egregious thing the ego teaches us” “We are separate from our creator, but we came from our creator, so we must be like what we came from. We all have a divine soul within us, that we came from, that we'll return to.”

We must ask ourselves, "How does our “source” think?" Our source is always giving, offering, always providing, and never asking for anything from us. If we can learn to be like that, then we are letting go of ego, we are allowing. That is what we have to learn and practice. The more we are in the space of giving, offering, and letting go of our own desires to be better than someone else, our desires to win, and where we get our place to practice, he refers to as “radical humility.” He quoted a Persian poet that said, "Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth, you owe me. Just think what a love like that can do. It lights up the world." That is what we have to practice and think. The more we are in this space of giving, offering, and letting go of our own desires to be better than someone else, and our desires to win; we choose to go to a place he calls radical humility, where we will take our ego out of the picture. When we stop trying to make ourselves better than anyone else, and we get into a practice of just giving, offering and serving, the irony is, the more we do of that, the more of that comes back to us.

The biggest problem with the ego is that it has a “mantra,” and the mantra of the ego says “MORE,” I MUST HAVE MORE, we are never satisfied, we never arrive, and we just strive. We are constantly striving to get some place else. We want to get to, “living in a space of contentment,” as Lao Tzu teaches us, in the Tao Te Ching.

He went on to tell the story of how the limo driver picked him up this morning and it was a 40-minute ride to the studio. They stopped at a light, and he was thinking to himself, “How can I be in a space of gratitude, even in these 40 minutes?” They stopped at a stoplight, there was this little white butterfly, flitting back and forth, then it came right up to the window, and he thought, “That’s what life really is, living in a space of appreciation.” He went on to explain that Rumi said, “Sell your cleverness and purchase bewilderment,” get in a state of awe, get in a state of total bewilderment about everything, and let that “ego” go. You don ‘t have to beat anybody else, you don’t have to be superior to anyone else, you just have to be a person, who thinks like God thinks, which is giving, offering, serving, and loving. That is what it is about.

Dr. Dyer went on to explain how people can get over the ego’s holds. He suggests that we let go of our need for reputation. Some great lines that we can remember in our life and say to ourselves, when someone else is criticizing us are, “What you think of me is none of my business” It is not our business what everyone is consumed with thinking. We also have this need to be right. He said, “When you have a choice to be right or be kind, ALWAYS PICK KIND.” CHOOSE THAT OPTION.” Winning and being right is stuff the ego has convinced us to believe. When we find ourselves in a situation where we have to be right, stop and remember to choose “kind” instead of “right.” As human beings, we believe we are having a spiritual experience, in actuality; we are spiritual beings having a human experience. We must remind ourselves that our essence is in this world of spirit. Jesus said, “It is the spirit that gives us light, the flesh counts for nothing.” He finished with “And that’s the ego.”

This was amazing to me yesterday, as I was walking by the TV, which was on, and I heard her promo for today’s show saying that he was going to be on. It was certainly, at that moment, that I was so very grateful for TIVO. (lol) I am grateful for everything in my life, I consider myself a child of gratitude. I am so grateful to Ellen for having him on, and the moment that I was in, when that announcement came on. It has made my day!

What he talked about today is very much like what Oprah’s Book Club Classroom will be discussing on Monday night. I love this new language and the idea that finally, people are opening their minds to express their spiritual side, without labels like freak, religious fanatic and so on. If we can begin now, today, by making a concerted effort to deliver the message that “our children that need to know now, that there is another way to think about everything that will change their behavior and their thought process to be more successful adults. I am elated to be in the world today. I can see the process of change taking place and it is through the great doers and motivators like, Ellen, Oprah, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Bob Proctor, Jack Canfield, John Assaraff, Michael Beckwith, Rhonda Byrne, Joe Vitale, Mike Dooley, Dennis Waitley, Mike Brescia, Zig Ziglar, Tony Robbins, Bill Harris, Louise Hay, Martha Beck, Cheryl Richardson and so many more.

Make a choice to watch it, read it or live it THE SECRET …but at least try it, and remember this:

Thoughts do become things.

There are no coincidences.
Miracles are all around us.
Ask, Believe and you will receive.
It all begins with baby steps.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR?

I have mentioned before how difficult it is for my friend who’s child has been diagnosed as having ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder). I recently discovered that it is under the umbrella of Autism and usually goes hand in hand with ADHD referred to as Comorbidity.”This is a very difficult diagnosis for parents to live with. I realize the emphasis should be on the treatment of the disorder and the child, but I think that most agencies and state wide resources are forgetting that parents are a crucial part of this disorder. It is parents that have to heal their children. It is parents that have to continually make excuses for their child’s behavior, or have discipline, at school and other places, make exceptions for their child. This is what my friend heard today. “Your daughter will be coming home in a few days and if you feel that you are not “capable” of taking care of her, we will place her in a foster family.” NO PARENT SHOULD EVER HAVE TO HEAR THOSE WORDS. These children are not responsible for this behavior and although parents must monitor their child’s behavior, eventually when things go back to normal for awhile, they begin to trust their child, and they are fooled into believing that they are doing everything they can, which in fact, they are not. (They do not ever realize this at the time, because their wish to believe that their child is taking his or hers medication is what they need to believe). I have seen many parents going through this when my youngest was in school. At some point, every parent has to trust their child in order for that child to get everything they should out of life. But for parents the only hope is disguised as manipulation on the part of the child, which is the most prevalent symptom in the diagnosis. This is a perfect Catch-22 and it is being over- looked on every level of care for these children.

Parents are having to alter their entire life styles. They are forced to sacrifice their own dreams, in order to focus on raising their child with crucial fail safes in place. And to be prepared for the cycling that inevitably takes place, with this disorder.

It is under the Department of Mental Health, which under that title, you would expect a great deal more available to parents raising children with ODD. Well, their method is not a solution. No one has offered my friend support in this. I know that they offer the support of DSS (Department of Social Services) in the form of intervention between parent and child, and frequent visits to gauge the child and the parent‘s behavior, but under that title there is only one solution, keep your child at home and go about daily life as if he or she does not suffer from this disorder, and when he or she cycles again, we can then give you more help by taking her off your hands for another week or two while they adjust her medication and then send her back home, where the parent sits waiting everyday for the other shoe to drop. This puts a lot of parents in the position of raising self indulgent children. Placating them to tone their behavior down, avoid explosions, and live in peace. The mere fact that these agencies are aware that this disorder cycles, should be enough to offer parents more resources.
I had to tell my friend today, that what she was being told was true, and that they were consistently telling her that there are no alternatives for her. However, that is not what my friend needed to hear, so she did not buy into that mind set. I was feeling so disconnected from her on the ride home. I could not find the “right” words to express to
her that I understood what she was trying to accomplish, but it was the “method” she was using to accomplish it. Parents, as well as children, have to know that, there are times when what you are doing is not going to get you anywhere, and continuing along the same lines of communication will only leave you, the parent, with a new label. The label will fall under the heading of inadequate parenting, and he or she will be told that they are the source of the rise in their child’s behavior. NO PARENT IS INADEQUATE WHEN THEY ARE PROACTIVELY TRYING TO GET HELP FOR THEIR CHILD! I am no expert, but I do believe that when a parent is doing everything possible to help their child, the help should come in a message that parents understand. A language that can be used to miraculously change their child’s behavior. It may be something as simple as changing the way that social workers explain the available resources to the parent. Or finding more resources for both the child and the parent.

I know this:

My friend is not the source of her child’s behavior, the disorder that her child has, is the source. Although my friend may not be communicating that well, considering how much pressure this puts on her, social workers should be ready to provide “more than just adequate resources” to aid parents through the most difficult and crucial time with this disorder. During the crisis, not after. After the crisis the whole cycle begins again and it will never end as long as it continues along these lines.

There are alternative methods for children with this disorder and they involve physical activity to raise their endorphin level and to experience deep and sometimes traumatic issues in their life. This is why most of them are sent to ‘Wilderness Programs”that are not covered by insurance and cost $6000. plus per month. Not every family, and in some areas, no family, is prepared to put out that much money. Most parents are saving for college education for their child. Are they supposed to use that resource to change this child’s behavior? Are they supposed to let their child fail in school and not see the child’s dream come to fruition? I do not see how this will work over time, if this is a cycling disorder.

I am not only curious, but I am determined to find, affordable alternative methods to help my friend and other parents like her, through this tragic period in their lives. I hope that as my readers, you will offer help and whatever resources you know of, to help me, help my friend and her daughter. I do see there are some new “self help digital programs” available to parents and teens and maybe my friend will consider one of these, but the important thing to remember is never give up…do not ever give up being the parent you are…try to become the source of your child’s recovery and enjoy the years of ahead with a closer happier relationship with your child.

I still laugh with my friends about my daughter at 15 and the knock, down, drag out fights that we had, while she went through puberty while I was going the menopause, not a road anyone wants to go on, believe me. But if my daughter’s behavior had not changed and I had to continue like that for years, we would not have the relationship we have now. I know my friend and her daughter will get through this and I hope everyone will help me by sending resources my way. Just respond below to the comments and I will be grateful for any help you send.

Make a choice to watch it, read it or live it…but at least try it, and remember this: “The Secret”

Thoughts do become things.

There are no coincidences.
Miracles are all around us.
Ask, Believe and you will receive.
It all begins with baby steps.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

I think I have been living in a coma for about a week now. One of my friends is having a difficult time lately with a few major life issues. The fact that she is still walking around is proof enough to me, that she is talking a pro-active approach to the issues around her.

We both just discovered that there is a mental disorder called ODD. “Oppositional Defiance Disorder” is the term. She just put a name to it this morning. After spending close to 24 hours in a hospital, waiting for someone to see her teenage daughter, we were both saying how ridiculous it was that a child in crisis had to wait that long for proper attention. Well, it became clear to me, when she told me what the psychologist that saw her daughter told her about this disorder. Here we were thinking that he was just describing her daughter as if he knew her personally, and it turns out that she fits into that diagnosis so perfectly that he was speaking in general. How is it, that as parents, we had no idea that a diagnosis or disease like this existed. I raised three children, all grown now, but each has issues of their own, luckily for me, none as serious as this. It is all about LABELS. We never really absorb anything until a name is attached to it, mainly because it does not exist, until then. Cryptic, I know, but I will explain further in.

In the past year, one of the changes that I made in my life, was to let my children go (I think that is a hymn we used to sing in church or it is from an old movie) “Let my children go.” Anyway, case in point, my youngest had some substance issues, which I have discussed on my blog in the past, and I had to wrestle with the struggle of letting him go when he refused treatment. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but I would do it again tomorrow, now that I know what came to me, from that.

I remember as a young mother learning this: “You should begin to separate from your children when they are born, if you hope to raise independent children.” It was important to me to raise independent children. I never experienced independence until I was a young bride, with a child at 25, divorcing and being forced to live on my own. That is not to say that it was not my choice to do that, because it absolutely was. What I experienced after that, was the fear of living on my own, raising a child alone, paying bills, making enough money, feeling safe, and keeping my child safe, all things I had never learned. No one had ever taught me how to do that. I did all of that well, with my first husband, but when it was time to be on my own, the feeling was not empowering, it was frightening and it kept me from ever following through with the things that would keep me secure and safe, the tools to manage my life. I tried so many times to take that back, the feeling of security, safety and peace, but I had given it up to others in my life, my children, each of my husbands in two marriages, bosses, parents, teachers, anyone I could give it to, except MYSELF. The reality of that came so late in life. Forced to struggle so long, knowing something, but never really knowing what it was. Pushing me through so many emotional changes that were under the heading of, depression, mental illness, insecurity, immaturity, all negative LABELS, never knowing that what I was doing was fighting to live my own life, the one I had given away to so many. It is funny when I look back at it now and see the simplicity of getting to where I should have gone so many years ago, but I am there now and it is still not too late for me to leave that to my children. The vessel to contain that knowledge has not formed in my mind yet. However, the thought and the desire are present, as the first two steps to succeeding in anything or everything. (I will have to get back to you on THE LAST ONE).

All of this came to me as I watched my friend struggle with her daughter’s issues. Fed by information about things that I seemed to know and understand, realizing that I had experienced things like this before, I was able to offer support and hopefully, guidance into a dark place that she and I have both lived for so many years. In the process, we have found humor, Thank God, and understanding of things about ourselves as we struggle to learn more about her child and change things from the way we had to learn them. We are becoming more comfortable in our LABELS and moving further away from the fear of what is in our mind, in order to change things for the future of children like hers and mine.
ODD is a real issue among teens, and there is new information available. I am planning to help my friend find that information to share with other parents, but first by letting parents know that conditions like those that ODD contain, can be changed. Just putting a LABEL on it has made it clearer to those of us that have lived with other labels. We need to find a positive way to bring this message to parents and teens and teach them how to change their thoughts to change their behavior. It all begins with baby steps, and miracles are all around us, thoughts do become things and Ask, believe and you will receive.

The experiences that my friend and I went through this past week have been overwhelming to us. At times and we have struggled through sleep deprivation and sometimes fear of the unknown, but we have managed to keep ourselves sane with humor and support. The other night, while struggling with these issues and unable to sleep any longer for the night, I sent this email to her husband.
I hope it gives you the levity that we found in it, because it helped us to get through: I have removed the names to protect the innocent.


The subject line read: BILL FOR SERVICES RENDERED!


Dear MR. BLANK,

Below, is a list of services rendered to MRS.BLANKETY BLANK-BLANK. After her first consult, which was free, you were informed, that any further use of my services would come at a high price.

My services are valuable and should be recognized as such. I am a firm believer in payment of services rendered by the bartering system. Please take note that the payment for my additional services is now due and will accepted in payment by, 1 treadmill, and an office chair ( I spend a lot of time sitting in front of my computer doing research for the issues that your wife comes to me for. Additionally, there is a night differential which is imposed after 1:00 a.m. on all occasions.

Please do not let this matter reach the point where it will be necessary to serve you with a dunning notice. Prompt and courteous service will be rewarded with a discount on your next bill. SERVICE RENEDERED:
1. Several phone consults previous to 12:00 a.m.
2. Invaluable computer services.
3. A shoulder to cry on.
4. Valuable opinions and direct advice.
5. Sleep deprivation.

You should recall that, while I was performing these services, you were getting much needed sleep, (of which, I was denied, because once you wake me up…I am up). I’m sure you can see the value in these services and I am certain that you will consider prompt payment, knowing that my service will be needed a great deal in the next few weeks.
Sincerely,

Ann-Marie Cunniff
P.S. Woohoo, my first paid gig…I